"i got submarine you got gasoline.."

I have not bought the new u2 album but i have downloaded the fordham university bootleg, what i can say is theres a new song i think is on the new album i like its called "ill go crazy if o dont go crazy tonite"...what a sweet song so is "magnificent" wow with that one it sounds like the joshua tree has not left them.


thats all i have time for..

peace out

2 weird things and end of season

so today i dont have many lessons and i guess by this time every year its normally only privates, and semi privates and isnce im a ski instructor helper not an instructor. So im only needed when there is more than 4 people and they need help...most of this season i have been doing the 5 week camps. They ended about the 1st week in february. Since then its been only the school groups.

So today one behind the other two very odd and very rare things happened i think i was possesed by bad luck. 1st of all my glove gets stuck on the j bar and makes it around the wheel at the top then drops in a grassy area. So i skied to the bottom and told the liftee who was sitting in a tube watching the sun go down, and told him that my glove made it around the wheel at the top and fell into an area no one should ever visit if its moving. He stopped the jbar and i cmimbed of a catch cable that if someone goes through it will stop....went over and grabbed my glove no rips or tears (though there was alreay alot of cuts from grapping the wire without the bar and jletting in run through the glove....i should have found a glove protector we used to have for riope tows. Anyways 20 mins later im taking down the characters (piglet, tigger etc) woooden characters to ski around and theres a stubborn stubby that i cant get out so i go in and grab a metal key thats helps get it out...neither one works so i tried digging with the handle on the key and it still wouldnt come out, so i went to the liftee and found a shovel and as soon as i got 1/2 way to the stubby tyler the local snowboard instructor goes by (while i was digging he noticed what i was trying to do...turned it like counter clockwise and lifted and came out....took me 20 minutes for him to take it out in like 30 seconds...unreal eh!!!

so im over there tomnorrow monday and maybe tuesday and who knows what our school group schedule will be like i know theres only like 4 or 5 school groups left..most of them are ones that cancelled when the weather was like -20 or like just after it rained...so theres not much left.


heres a rundown of what i wear

head
-Smith helemt i bought before xmas
-smith goggles

body
-avalanche (cobble hills) jacket/work
or Firelfy red and grey jacket/pleasure
mobius pants fom years ago
reusch downy gloves


feet
-salomon evolution 7.0 boots

ski(s)

Rossignol zenith z9ti (red)
head snow skater (no info online for it)

poles

head intellegence poles i bout at the abominable ski store in banff

----------------------------------------


ive been skiing on my head snow skater short parabolic skis im trying to see what year they came out to see what year we might have gotten those snow skates. I spent all of today on these things with poles....


later and happy new month

beat this....

i was playing snowboard snow jam and got a wiked 900 rodeo propeller beat that!!

night

so who won katy perry's contest?

a few months ago i watched a video on either youtube or another youtube like website that she wanted people to make a video of them singing to i kissed a girl. it was for the grammys which air tomorrow night. Im just curious to see who won..i dont think any of my friends entered so its all from the US or from the UK somewhere.

i like katy perrys music...stands out more than any other musician that ever existed.

thats it...later

i regret it the most...

i was driving myself to cobble hills and the thought hit me like a wall...when i took a year or two off after school and got my drivers liscence i should have taken a week and gone somewhere fun by myself or with friends....would have been cool experience,...

shoulda coulda woulda...bhmmm...but i was totally in a depression at the time and that thought never crossed thru my head...

just something to think about for today and this week

how do you like the banner at the top...made it myself...

im now working on an image for my tunecore page and how rto upload songs that have a very low bitrate...most of my songs are 128 or so,...they want like 40-50 ish...

later..

on the one hand im dreaming about....

hi guys whoever is readin this blog right now...I want to post this feeling or thought to anyone out there to see what everyone thinks. I've been having 2 typical dreams sometimes like one after the other. Sometimes when im sleeping ill dream of pleasurable and happy thoughts of someone I know that I've been talking about on here then its followed by ones of people trying to kill me..

 

I like the ones of the star bucks girl I don't like the death dreams. If it was 2003 and I was dreaming about death it would be second nature to think of death, now I've got something to live for. Like last night I had a dream of me being shot at but the bullets wouldn't hit me they were like bouncing off me.

 

just something to think about for your Sunday Feb. 1st 2009 and you've just been elliott'd in...dam I want it like sxephils ending...dam!!

 

 

 

 

weird dream this am.....

this morning I awoke from an unusually happy dream one that could have kept going if I didn't have to be up for 10 am this morning. It involved a few of my old worker mates from Safeway all talking about this snowboard shop they were all going to a lot or one they wanted to start.

 

I found that one to be cool because I was seeing all my friends from Banff again..

 

well sorry for the short one but im tired no time for a Vlog today so ill wait till I get time..

 

later

 

 

scanner works!!

so hello its monday jan 26th of 2009. My scanner has been sitting in the TV room catching dust for about a month, or since i changed my room around for my computer to be in the south corner of my room. I decided it would be nice to see what i could salvage from my scanner if it works or not. Up to now the scanner part works fully so it still works its just the linkup between it and the computer. So i setup the programs for it and tried pushing the green button (epson 1260 perfection) and nothing worked then i went into control panel and hit add hardware...after a minute there was the popup that the 1260 was intalled. So it works!!...

heres a hint of a few ive scanned in




me at 347 otter st in banff

email cleaning....sorry...

hello all good to see you....im doing this to see who has the correct email and whos email doesnt work anymore...
 


Life is Great
 
darrenelliottmusic.com

"shes really not that interested in you"

Im sorry but i made a mistake years ago wanting this girl. I thought we would date and then get married in the future. I can clearly say thats not going to happen because she hasnt replied back to me. im going to post what i wrote to her on facebook and you can tell me what you would say...


___________________________________________________________
Hey willow how are ya, im fine back in ontario where the home cooked food is at its best.

Its been a long time since weve had a serious chat, as in it feels like a long time since weve had this type of chat.

Lately ive been thinking about you, seems weird but there you are in my head everyday, no matter where i go youre there and all i have to think about.

The only problem is i dont know if you feel the same way. Since the day i met you about a year ago ive been thinking about what is gonna happen to me if im gonna move somewhere else for a long time or stay in banff and live for a while there.

I dont know if its true but if you have boyfriend this message wont mean much to you, ive just been waiting to email you since the end of being in banff. I didnt even get to say goodbye and that ill keep in touch so i thought id say hi and tell you some things ive been thinking about for a while.

I have a huge crush on you and maybe its more than that, feels like it. If youve been feeling weird at all its probably me being the gross person i am. Ive never met a girl like you before and i doubt i ever will again. I just wanted to say hi thats all. I miss talking to you and i want to hear from you more, though im sure you hate me because weve both been ignoring ech other.See you willow and enjoy shredding this season youre friend darren elliott

ok its time to move on...she seriously doesnt like me..

it might not be the two weeks i indicated on the last blog but ive given up. I cant wait anymore without her talking to me. I havent talked with her in like 3 months. I miss her like sh*t. Heck im almost in love with her. I dont want to become depressed like i did years ago.

Funny thing is that ive had sme good dreams about her and i was almost certain some of them were going to come true, guess not now..

from now on i wont be talking about the starbucks girl ill have to find someone else. Its going to be hard...may take a year to get over her i was so deep in feelings for her. I hear her voice sometimes its so awesome to hear from her in my head but its not the real girl.

been getting some good replys to my youtube. i shouldnt be existing right now as on a forum they are ripping me apart as we speak....thats fine....ill get them back in the end somehow.

in the words of aron, which is a cool name for i speak a no enlgish...said "you are a worthless cunt" i agree!!!

this blog doesnt exist no more...and yes aron i am using tears as lube....and my girl i like is bangin 50 black guys..thats fine...i dont care

last fm and other things

Hello bloggers, how are you? Another day another dollar...Today is Friday the 16th of January/2009.

 

We were supposed to start the school groups at cobble today but since it was going to be and it already might be -20 right now the 1st group cancelled so im on my own for the day, here to Blog, Vlog or chat.

 

I now have a last.fm, used to be I really didn't conceive the concept. Now its something I don't even think about much. Crazy how much its changed, its like bagels years ago...no one liked bagels but the select few now everyone has it for breakfast and doesn't even notice how much they are loved now. My username on last.fm is darrenvox.

 

I have not played Combat Arms, Trackmania or WOW for the reasons its too big for my computer!!!

 

I am on blogtv.com with the same username. I don't really have a show set up I just go on every once and a while to show people a live view of my room~!

 

I have some cd's and games I want to sell and get a little money for..

 

All my u2 cd's

Sims Online

 

more to come... 

 

 

 

cant stop thinking about her...its been too long

so this week is another week im giving the girl from starbucks to chat back at me. if she doesnt let me know her feelings so i can chance it or stop thinking about her. Most people at this stage would give up and move on. i think this starbucks/UNLTD girl is quite a rariety so ill give her the benefit of the doubt and and an extra week to chat back at me. She doesnt have to tell me her inner most deep secrets she just has to tell me wether she likes me or not. if she likes me ill defintely pursue a relationship with her, if she doesnt like me ill let her go. Its too hard at this moment.


I really like her and would really like to go out with her at some point. Shes got a boyfreind and im ok with that its the fact that i see her being part of my life more than i see her with her current boyfriend. Everytime i see snowboarders i think of her. So im goung to get lessons on how to snowboard so if i were ever to be her boyfreind at some point she would probably want me to be converted so i will have to take lessons at some point. Tyler or Tanner said they would take me out and teach me...i know im gonna be on my ass anyways...so....well see

Unless im helping teaching over at cobble hills most of my thoughts are going to her at the moment, i cant help myself thinking about the starbucks girl (i have yet to mention names untill im going out wither her) which may never happen....but id like to at least try...so ill giver her another week, i just dont want to have another broken heart knowing that she only thinks im a garbage guy and not a future boyfriend..

I might be going to banff in march or so...a little trip to go see friends and see people...

thats my blog today and im stickin with it!!

darren

its getting harder and harder...

Late last night i was over at cobble hills hanging out having a good time and then the song made famous by katy perry came on called hot n cold and since when i first heard the song a long time ago when i was living in banff i thought katy perry looked like this girl i still like from starbucks. So whenever i hear that song it makes me think alot abot her.

I have talked to her a million times over the past year it was ony after she came back from being home in ontario that our happy fun friendship started dwindling downwards, we went from being enjoyfull of each other (hi-5's and smiles to each other) to barely talking to each other at all. It really makes me mad at myself because i probably did or said something that made her not talk to me as much.

I know she has a boyfriend and im respectfull of that but im so happy that someday me and her wll be together. Maybe we wont but ivew got this good feeling in my heart that i will see her again. I havent seen her since the begining of november and its now the start of january...its hard for me.

Alls im saying is its hard because ive sent her an email telling her how i feel and i havent heard back. At this point most people would give up and move on. Im just being ok with it and letteing her have another 2 weeks to email or chat with me and let me know...i like her...i liker her alot...i just dont want to lose her...

thats my blog and im stickin to it!!

merry xmas wherever you are this holiday season

Hello all bloggers out there that are reading my blog at all, merry xmas to you and your family and to everyone in general to have a merry xmas and a happy new year.

 

 I just completed my level 1 Canadian Ski Instructors Alliance training and failed from not teaching it correctly. I knew I wasn't going to get it anyways but at least I made it through the 4 days. I met a few new people this week and I'm glad for meeting a bunch keen on learning. I did well on the skiing part of it, yet failed more on the teaching aspect of it. 

 

I have not written any new songs yet but I have written a few new poems and have transcribed the song lyrics from my book into .txt form. That was done so that I always have a second copy and can print one off at any time.

 

U2 still stinks, Theory Of A Deadman still rocks!!

 

happy holidays from the Elliott household

is this a gay idea or what? plus update on things

I recently lost my cell phone, and I was thinking it would be cool for the phone makers and phone service providers could allow phones to have a tracking system so that at all times you would know where your phone is. It sounds to me like this could help a lot of frustrated phone owners that cant even get the call to get their phone (like me) through because the battery is dead so even if I could call it, it would do nothing to benefit anyone.

 

So I'm home now, loving every minute of it, lots of work to do, with six horses 4 cats and a dog to take care of, there's no time to slack off, or there's not a lot of time to do nothing. I will be working somewhere in southwest Ontario, possibly cobble hills, but I'm not sure I want to work there, I'm going to have to work at somewhere else, like St Marys or Stratford, London or Kitchener.

 

later 

 

 

4 cats, a dog, 6 horses and shit coming up the wazoo!!

So im here in ontario for a few months, cant play BF2 but i can play BF42 whenever i want, ive been signed up for the level 1 ski teaching course, though if i pass i may not use it at all it will just be there just in case.

Ive already been set up to work at cobble, though id rather start my own company because i havent learned from my previous job yet.

so im unemployed right now ill see what happens

Coming Home

Im moving home for a few months starting at the end of this month, ill be coming back to this town in april/may or so.

Not sure where im going to be working at but for the 1st little while theres a chance i could be working for dad with all of his stuff data entry for BNI.

It will be nice come home be rent free for a month or so. i have a ton of things ive gotta do when i go home i have to burn cds of photos from my computer and all the other stuff and then change some stuff on that computer then i have to either sell some old games for money so i can get rid of the games and cds lyring around my room so that im more organized then i can feel good being around my home in ontario

but 1st i must focus on having a fun time before i go!!

VHS-C to DVD

Im looking forward to the day i can finish or even start my quest on taking our old home videos and converting them to DVD, which would be cool in the fact we could give away our old videos to the people that were in them because im sure most of whats on our VHS-C have been forgotten and it would be a nice thing to do.

What i need

VHS-C adapter that works
maybe the ION VCR2PC thing
All my vhs-c tapes that are at home

What i dont need
is some future shop or source cc guy doing it becuae i actualy want to do some ediits on a copy of the master ill do and i might like to have a menu screen and some edited footage that could be the bonus features then ad an easter egg to it


date it may get done? 2012 because i dont know if i can do any of it out here and the usb to pc thing is expensive...i want it to be a work of art..i want to do it myself and i dont know where to go...i will start this if i move back to ontario in november.

if i move to ontario i will update daily and i might have some short footage on youtube.

untill then see you!!

end of september blog

So it is the end of september, thus the end of the summer. Working hard but only half the hours, i work three days then have 4 days off. its not good for the paycheck but its gives me time to relax.

Im not reading anymore at least that good book called "what good people know" by dan baker it was very fun reading and learning how other people dealed wirh the same pain i was in. It didnt mean you had to stress youreself out to be happy just notice the day to day things that make you feel good.

Paid rent already, had to borrow some money from my mother i hate to do that but im running empty on money.Thanks mom!

Watched a family of deer or bull elk today waddle into the river by the trail that leads to the falls on the ymca side of the river. I sat on a bench and stared at them, wondered what they were saying to each other.

Leveled up on combat arms, im now a seargent not a corporal anymore and now ive reached a level where aiming at other players is getting much better ive gotten to the 20 kill level normally i get to 5 or 6 kills a session!

World Of Warcraft:Level 21

Later Days

Red Eyed Platoon

I joined a clan on Combat Arms its called red eyed platoon. its a pretty good platoon cause its all about not having cheaters hackers and glitches in the game. I can name a clan who all they want is to get more exp so they can move up rank. why do people cheat?
 
Life is good for now, got a few more videos on youtube under my belt. No subscribers yet, but if anyone reads this my youtube is youtube.com/darrenvox subscribe at will!
 
I am so addicted to combat arms right now its ruling my life so much right now. All i do at the internet cafe is play combat arms for at least 3 hours or so. Its so much fun and ive met so many new people with it. One of my favorite players is Itoke, he is so good i think hes a SSG or might be higher rank than what i thought. Me and another new friend Samerica and a few other Red Eye Platoon people were playing on warhead with another clan but it wasnt any fun cause they were cheating.
 
See Ya!!

---

if i had better guitar playing id stick at it..

So im blogging again, yes. Has been a while since ive blogged. I saw dave's video the other day the one about miniman, written in his english class in elementary school. This inspired me to do the same thing because i have old stories that i have written and want to share..only trouble is im in banff now and all my stuff from public school are in ontario so if i go back to ontario or get my mom to bring it out now i will post it to my youtube./darrenvox page.

Im listening to dave from blue skies' alone again on guitar from youstage in manchester. What a cool song written for piano and played by guitar. I really like that song, my other fav song is stickaid2008, oh i forgot to mention im on stickam as meaning i have an account there..i cant seem to access my account right now but i could do live shows and stuff on there.

My songwriting career is done, theres no more writing so all i can do now is support acts like dave from blue skies and davey milby.If i had a good guitar player to join me i could still sing but not write.

Im still planning my trip to england to see some of my friends and meet some of my online friends. I have some living in scotland and some living in wales and a few living in england so ive got to plan my trip accordingly. I was origionally going to do ireland, england and scotland. but now i dont want to go to ireland because i dont like the band u2 anymore and 95% of that trip part would have been about u2. so im skipping ireland to visit wales, cause people are telling me its a nice place.

if only i could get all my overseas friends to meet up at a certain city, such as bristol and i could see my buddies, meet the online ones and introduce everyone to each other, i could try saying its a bristol youtube gathering but i bet theres not alot of youtubers in bristol that we all know..my brother is in bristol living there working at the digital visitor thing.

Places i have to go to meet some online some real friends ive met in banff.

Real Friends
Crossgates, Wales
Isle of Mann, Scotland
Bristol, England

Online Friends
Derby, England
wherever nerimon lives
maybe charlieissocoollike could be visited by me..

might be better as a gathering of freinds in bristol when i go. could i get some of the names i listed to visit when i go to UK

nerimon
musicfromblueskies
charlieissocoolike

there may be more but thats all i know on youtube from uk.

see what everyone has options for..

later

Drumheller,Vulcan OR Bust

 
Well its blogging time again...its been since forever that i blogged before.
 
im flying alot i mean virtual flying. if my sister is reading this i must let out the news that im flying again with flight sim, tom the guy who works here gave me a copy of it so i take off quite frequently and do some flights.
 
going on a roadtrip tomorrow to wither drumheller or vulcan or whatever place we can go to that we want to go to..
 
 
should be a great day
 


Life is Great
 
darrenelliottmusic.com

---

Darren Elliott 2.0, beat that 1.5

Ive never posted anything about what i now know how my old self would be an old version of me, so the one who couldnt wake up for work on time would be the 1.5 of me.

Comparing 1.5 to 2.0
15.1981-2005
2.2005-present

The 1.5 listened to u2, couldnt live without a certain girl whos name i must not mention, lets say voldemort its kinda like that and couldnt stop being mad at bees. The 1.5 dreamed of the world ending because he feels no one love him, no really love him like other people. The 1.5 always was sad. The 1.5 had issues with life and everything bothered him. 1.5 lost hope of meeting bono, and voldemort aka the girl i must never mention. The 1.5 of me wouldnt think of having breakfast because i was normally out the door 5 minutes to or maybe 10 minutes or so after 11am. The 1.5 had a resume done by his sister because he didnt understand how it was to be done. Never added his own things to it. The 1.5 always said he was from st marys ontario, but never lived there. The 1.5 loved to dance and thoubght his dancing was good. The 1.5 had a lot of bad bikes that wouldnt get close to anything to what 2.0 has now and 2.0 isnt as good as any kona, or any bike anyone around banff has. Both 1.5 and 2.0 cant bike, on his minelli, but likes to bike around town and cant even get over a curb has to get off and walk the bike and then get on again but knows its not going to hurt him. compared to all the other better bikers in town 1.5 and 2.0 sucks and doesnt know the right way to switch gears correctly years to make it to Tour de France: 1,000000 years.
1.5 and 2.0 are both suckers at biking. Pretty much 2.0 is just a person upgrade he still sucks at everything.


The 2.0 update allows for more time to get up and have breakfast which is good for me. Now im leaving by 1045am and getting there in enough time to think about what ive got to do for a while.The 2.0 listens to pretty much everything like bright eyes, coldplay, collective soul. The 2.0 actually started in 2005 because everything i was used to fell away. The 2.0 is now always happy. The 2.0 has fixed all of his prior problems. The resume 2.0 is working on is his own work, adding the other things that maybe we lied about.The 2.0 is from a place he always dreamed about it, and the girl from the past wants to kick him out.The 2.0 doesnt like dancing.2.0 loves his bike but knows that all he is known it as a canadian tire special or something like that.

This is all i have about the change. will add more later

davey milbys promo post

daveymilby.com

my request song is good hearted fool



Life is Great

darrenelliottmusic.com

---

what happened the other night and update

 
Hello everyone who has ever been reading my blog, like as if anyone is.A weird thing happened on friday/ saturday and 12:10 am or so. i was hanging out at the internet cafe. and all of a sudden the lights just flickered on and off for a second and i thought that maybe the fuse box  was acting up or something then i walked  upstairs to check out if it was just the internet cafe or if it was the  whole town and im sure my first idea as i looked on was total shock, the whole town was out of power, from the entrance way into banff to the bridge was about as dark as the night was. So i thought about leaving but i thought it would be nice if i walked out of here together so i waited for him to finish up.
 
I walked to my sisters house not my home in the fricken dark, not any lights on, so it was weird, i've never seen banff like that.
 
My life, yes i thought id get to this, my singer songwriter thing is going nowhere. So is my normal life, i know people have said "she's not here." sheesh, did i start rubbing my head for nothing, its because  i keep seeing the past in brief moments in my head, you know how someone says try seeing things in a mental picture that what i'm seeing, but don't get me wrong i don't want her. I came here to move on with my life. And i was having the best time being here. 2005 was the best year too, sally borden every other day, walk through the rain, and sit by the river and reflect,  but now i feel like i don't belong here any more.
 
she showed up in banff sometime in 2006 because before all this i felt fine and over the stuff i took a long time to get over. Then the bono stuff started, i started hearing bono's  voice in my head. I fell for everything he was telling me, and i don't believe he would ever come to such a crappy town like this. The last time i was in hospital in i was going crazy, i knew he wasn't here in my heart but i thought he was, I must have been on crack or something i had conjured up a theory about the end of the world, i must have had a bad dream one of the nights because i saw my sister sitting beside me and i'm like i cant fucking believe it i thought everyone was dead, clearly i must have been on crack or something.
 
This thing about the hating bono or the facebook group called i still hate bono and his fucking face" its not meant to mean we want to kill him, its just a bunch of previous u2 fans turning the table. I came up with this idea that u2 or rock bands should have a draft like the NHL, so that any musicians that need bono for their band, like rolling stones  so that when mick jagger dies bono can fill in. I think it would work perfectly. This problem i have is not a u2 problem its a bono probrem. get rid of him any way other than killing and you recieve a bonus. its a good way anyways.
 
I love how at every show he was at, during sometimes you cant make it on your own during the vertigo tour, hed say "this is for my father bob" well i could one up him and say "well this is the my why bother? fob" the only problem is id have to find a key chain fob that says in big letters "why bother" on it. haha bono youre going down.!!
 
http://h1.ripway.com/washburnhob/crosseyedacousticmorning.mp3
 
enjoy my update and clearing of my head!!
 

Life is Great
 
www.darrenelliottmusic.com

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on life love and the other stuff

something i havent talked about in ages because i didnt believe in love, i thought i was never going to be in love/married etc. but now i have met a few people and had a few crushes. I dont want to talk about it much but i like this girl who works at safeway. Word has gone around that i really like her. Now im not gonna start blogging about her but it needs to end. I mean what i keep doing metaphorically is closing doors on people for some reason. i mean ive had chances in the past.with that girl from high school, waited untill the last minute to make my move to be shot down again and again.

Now i know that this thing with the ... doesnt really matter, i really like her, we talk alot i compliment her and she does too but i feel like i started off on the wrong foot. Id like to still be her friend period. I also like other girls at safeway but im not shy too much these days but around women i get shy and i feel as if i have to get to know them to talk to them.

i have to stop closing doors on people, but i cant stop doing it..

my .50 cents.

im going to have to figure out what i really want. this is something i can only decide.

Every photo tells a story, some more than others

i recently took a look back at my photos on facebook just to pass the time and one photo album i had almost forgotten about called bow river overflow. Back last june or july our town of nearly 8000 + or so people had something weird but yet beautiful at the same time. The majestic bow river that flows through banff and calgary and on to hudson bay overflowed. It didnt claim any lives but it kept people far from the river..

source: http://www.riverwatch.ab.ca/rivertalk/viewreplies.cfm?topic_id=48

I only took 2-5 photos...






This photo just amazes me, what big a river we now have and whats the effects of the flooding that happened whatif i wwas playing guitar down by the river and accidentally got pushed off the bench because fot the strong current after this happened. I was just shocked to see this happen, its not every day that people see this sort of thing happen in their lives..





This photo just scares me, what if, when this happened someone like me was on it and got washed away...its not the bench that speaks to me its how high and fast the might bow is. I mena look at it its almost at seat height. It is dangersous but would have sounded cool to think about just sitting there with the fast water flowing over your legs....youd really have to hold on..






the others i took arent so as impressive as these are...but ill upload them anyways...maybe you can give me a comment as to what you think the others make you feel or see or whatever..or you could take them and photochop them and do things with them.

thats a river worth rafting down, if it werent so dangerous it would be fun...be something instead of taking pictures to experience the bow falls..

again take your time and think of what you think of when looking at these pics...this photo was used to prove how fast and how strong the river was...i recorded a video of how fast it was moving..NEXT

............whatever floats your boat....or finds youre lost remote...

???!!!???

in addition to these i took a short video..seen below

new stuff

ok i'm still here have not posted in ages and ages and ages..
 
I don't know where my life has gone, i'm just turning into a twit. I'm so far behind on my planning for the trip to ireland that i may just go to ireland instead of the other 2 places. but i may not even have enough to make it there so im not sure whats going to happen
 
Just heard the new song by u2 sung about an irish singer, well done bono. Just stop sending me ilike videos of u2...if i want to see u2 videos i can find them on youtube or good ones on u2.com
 
So im off to go home..clean my place up...

---

still planning for UK trip

i have made up a list of places in Dublin and Ireland I want to Visit

heres the List

1. Slane Castle
2. Temple Bar/HRC
3. Hanover Quay
4.Grand Canal Docks
5.Ballymun
6. Bonavox Hearing Aids Store
7. Clarence Hotel
8.??

England

Unsure where im going to go...


Scotland

Unusre where...


cant wait till go to ireland...i could cut the tour down to just ireland thats the only place i am open to going anywhere and taking time to relax...

This Just IN, IOPD shuffle 2nd Gen problem solved..at least i thought

Hello all ipod, u2 fans banffites and etc i have just found out the correct way to at least...
 
nevermind it didnt work...but try this
 
if youre haveing the delay write problem but the ipod is still being able to be detected...go into my computer and right click on the ipod drive, right click and hit format...should work but for the ipod 2nd gen it goes right back...
 
enjoy

---

the next guitar i buy..

LINE 6 - Acoustic 700 - 200x - black finish/red "Vertigo" target

recurring attack dreams

hello people, like 2 people that read this, here i am going to talk about a common theme here about attack dreams ive had before.

this morning i woke up with a resounding dark deep feeling ponder whats the next animal or insect im going to be attacked by in a dream. currently here are the animals ive been attacked by in dreams, get prepared to laugh

bears (4+ times)
sharks (1)
cougars(2 to 3 times)
bees(500+ times)
whales(1 time)
belugas(1 time)
dolphins(1 time) (i find this quite funny cause dolphins are harmless)
piranhas(here and there)

ater lay

i have to take back the town

heres the problem i facing..
 
i moved here 2 and a half years ago, to turn over a new leaf, it takes you know who 30 seconds to make my life miserable, i felt like my lifes dignity i was working to get back was stolen within 15 minutes of me being here 2 abd 1/2 years latet i hate my life but i cant just sit back and let time go by..
 
to sum up what ive been talking about here im the america after 911 if i sit back and watch my life will crumble before me she is the terrorism im the rest of the world, im trying to get back to town and enjoy what i used to do..
 
 
i want her to leave me alone!!!

---

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On songwriting...

well im getting back at writing songs right now, well at least this week, it seems that lately that i have had a number of songs worked on but never finished..it seemed my love life was still in the traffic pattern (aviaton term) so im still working on getting a girl to hang out with...
 
 
now that i am going to have my own bach pad i think its a great place to live and help with my songwriting...
 
i want to buy one of those portable mp3 reorder like the edirol r-09 or the m-audio multitrack...
 
id like to have it also for when i go to europe in april..
 
 

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so where have i been

hmm...dang i havent been blogging lately...ive been more facebooking...
 
ill update you soon

---

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i have messed up...

i admit that in the past i had written about you know who. Blatently using her name instead of something like "you know who or "that girl" i just went through and removed those posts...i dont want to hear her name ever again...

when you forget you wrote them..

so im googling myself the other day...i try to see what other shit it has found...

but for ages ive been searching for this song i wrote around 2002-2003 or so...

if anyone has an mp3 of it id love it..

Ballad
i went out west and wasn't worried
but when i landed back home
i felt so sad
and i felt so mad
that i was home
and only a short time away
from a girl
that i waited 4 years to say
Hi,Hi

but i dont have that chance anymore
im walking right out the door
to this life that im living
it makes me want to quit it
i dont know what im saying,
its this dumb song im playing
the same 3 chords all the time
but i dont feel this way all the time
im waiting for someone
to share this instant romance
someone who shares interests
and really likes to dance
but im stuck here all alone
no one has called me on the phone
no one knows that i exist
its something that i miss?
(c)2003


and also i have a few old ones i found on cbc radio 3. search darren elliott.. the alone isnt ild or not being found so the other one is...i want to put it on the soundclick site

"if you love something give it away"-bright eyes

wow its may 1st and i havent updated my blog..
 
here it goes...are you ready..
 
nothing is new!!! except ive got an ipod shuffle 2nd gen for my birthday..(blue color)

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its my birthday!!!

go me...go me..

all my old cadet mates... on facebook

Back before the guitar, before the living in banff there was the cadets. small squad of about 400 people (may not be exact) there were a lot of people i had almost forgotten.. by the time i had finished the cadet regime there were a lot of people that were better destined than me. most of them are either mothers, fighting in afghanistan or doing something military related..

its just amazing how many people are still around...and now they all take a look around on facebook and our group for alumini or cadets from 19th squadron air cadets stratford, Ontario.

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2232694836

enjoy...dont join unless you were once one...

almost there but a long way to go..

well im working on finishing the goblet of fire, im on chapter nineteen in the book, right about the time that harry gets chosen for the triwiard tournament. At the moment his friends hermione and ron seem to not be much of his friends now that he was mistakenly added to the tournament.
 
I havent wanted to put this book down...man i reccomend to all of you who have a urning for harry potter to read this one...so cool..
 
later..

---

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trying to find a new place...

i have till the 17th to move out of my brothers place...so his buddies can move in

---

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99 things

 How old will you be in five years?
30 ugh cant afford myself to think about it..

2. Who did you spend at least two hours with today?
doing baskets and buggies at work

3. How tall are you?
5'11-ish...

4. What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks?
absolutely nothing

5. What's the last movie you saw?
The Illusuionist

6. Who was the last person you called?
not sure..

7. Who was the last person to call you?
My Sister

8. What was the last text message you receiveved?
wanna go up the gondola this week? from my sister

9. Who was the last person to leave you a voicemail?
haven't checked it yet but might be  something there

10. Do you prefer to call or text?
call..

11. What were you doing at 12am last night?
Reading

12. Are your parents married/separated/divorced
Married

13. When is the last time you saw your mom?
back in feburary

14. What color are your eyes?
Green

15. What time did you wake up today?
9:45

16. What are you wearing right now?
work clothes

17. What is your favorite Christmas song?
Christmas Baby Please Come Home-U2

18. Where is your favorite place to be?
Banff

19. Where is your least favourite place to be?
St.Marys

20. Where would you go if you could go anywhere?
Australia

21. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years?
A drunken loser..like all the rest
 
22. Do you tan or burn?
Burn...

23. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?
Ghosts not monsters, never monsters

24. What was the last thing that really made you laugh?
my pharmacy guy laughing at the canmore nordic center map..

25. How many TVs do you have in your house?
2, i only use 1

26. How big is your bed?
Twin 

27. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer?
Laptop

28. Do you sleep with clothes on or off?
Pajama pants and a t-shirt in the winter and just boxers in the summer

29. What color are your sheets?
Blue-ish

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?
Four

31. What is your favorite season?
I like them all except Fall

32. What do you like about fall?
What do I DISLIKE about fall? Everything...its so lame

33. What do you like about winter?
Skiing

34. What do you like about the summer?
Long days & Hot nights,
 
35. What do you like about spring?
flowers..
 
36. How many states/provinces have you lived in?
2
 - Ontario
 - Alberta

37. What cities/towns have you lived in?
St. Marys, Banff..

38. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet?
Bare Feet
 
39. Are you a social person?
I am when I want to be........

40. What was the last thing you ate?
Doughnut

41. What is your favorite restaurant?
Brunos

42. What is your favorite ice cream?
Vanilla! ..

43. What is your favorite dessert?
Cream Cheese..

44. What is your favorite kind of soup?
Safeway Tuscan Tomato Basil..

45. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich?
Raspberry...

46. Do you like Chinese food?
Chinese Chicken Ball...

47. Do you like coffee?
No, unless its served with that coffe mate like stuff.. .

48. How many glasses of water, a day, do you drink on average?
Like 2 or 3 bottles...whatever that equates to...

49. What do you drink in the morning?
The fresh air...
 
51. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed?
Sprawled out in the middle....

52. Do you know how to play poker?
No not really

53. Do you like to cuddle?
No

54. Have you ever been to Canada?
The question really is, have you?

55. Do you have an addictive personality?
I'm not really too sure...prolly not

56. Do you eat out or at home more often?
75/50

58. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you?
Not Yet

59. Do you want kids?
No

60. Do you speak any other languages?
A bit of french and tiny amounts of itialian
 
61. Have you ever gotten stitches?
Yes

62. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
yes...many um...times...uh...

63. Do you prefer an ocean or a pool?
Pool...

64. Do you prefer a window seat or an aisle seats?
Window...rock on...4 hours of straring at a peice of metal flap in the wind

65. Do you know how to drive stick?
Yes...
 

66. What is your favorite thing to spend money on?
Clothes...guitar stuff

67. Do you wear any jewelry 24/7?
Watch

68. What is your favorite TV show?
2-4

69. Can you roll your tongue?
Nope...I can stick it out tho!

70. Who is the funniest person you know?
Dean in the Pharmacy at safeway #208

71. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
Absolutely not

72. What is the main ring tone on your phone?
You Don't Know...some rap tune...

73. Do you still have clothes from when you were little?
Some....

74. What red object is closest to you right now?
My Jacket

75. Do you turn off the water while you brush your teeth?
Yes

76. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
Have i ever had a walk in closet....um...NOOOO!!!

77. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees?
Both...they both kill me within a matter of minutes..

79. What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
Sweet & Sour sauce by preference

80. What is your favorite food?
Pizza, Sandwiches, Fish and Chips..

81. Can you change the oil on a car?
Ummm yeah....

82. Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket?
NO...at least not yet..

83. Have you ever run out of gas?
....I'll spare you the drama story because im getting sick of typing

84. What is your usual bedtime?
1 AM-ish

85. What was the last book you read?
Harry Potter and the Prisoner one...

86. Do you read the newspaper?
Yes, all the time

87. Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
Not at the moment...

89. Do you watch soap operas?
No...

90. Do you dance in the car?
nope..
 
91. What radio station did you last listen to?
106.5 Banff Fm radio.
.
92. Who is in the picture frame closest to you?
seeing as im at a int cafe,,,thinking here...well at home it would be a photo of a u2 tribute band thats from toronto..

93. What was the last note you scribbled on a piece of paper?
a jot of a map...

94. What is your favorite candle scent?
ooooo...I dont really know....

95. What is your favorite board game?
Monopoly...
 
97. When was the last time you attended church?
Oooo....geez I don't know....eeeek...can't remember

98. Who was your favorite teacher in high school?
cant remeber that far

99. What is the longest you have ever camped out in a tent?
not sure...maybe a week...did i say weak...cause my hands are...

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wow already on the 4th book already..

instead of posting about suicide i thought id share what im up to..
 
Books i have finished in harry potter series
 
Philosopher's Stone [DONE]
Chamber of Secrets[DONE]
Prisoner of Azkaban[DONE]
Goblet of Fire[Just Started] on Chapter 2 already...
 
ill keep you updated...

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i hate having to write this...

but i'm so hating my life right now, i hate that the thing i've been holding off for so long keeps bothering me at work, its not like she's talking to me its more like i'm in their way. and being as valentines day is coming up soon i just... you know i hate having them here.
 
anyways id rather be 6 feet underground then anywhere else...

---

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has anyone seen this person

been trying to get in touch with him..

mark taylor is his name..

album covers

kinda going with half of my head for these..

2006 a life in review

Absolutely Nothing GOOD Happened!!!!

its mighty cold out here

really cold here

new photos

happy new year

not much is going on...cant talk about the previous year because nothing good became of this past  year!!!

---

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two days after xmas and not all presents are opened yet. sorry i havent blogged lately...
 
will upade this week with photos and stories

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me and my ontario bang on t-shrt

merged with beta..

new functions and stuff.. enjoy

busy day today, went shopping and bought a new pants for work and shoes too..
 
hanging out at the internet cafe

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i bought the cd u218 singles and i cant wait to hear it

wooo hoo

i also cant wait to see the dvd..

have not posted to this blog in a while

still looking for a place to live..
 
see ya

---

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she still doesnt understand me..

im not trying to force her to life me, im not even forcing her to look at me but i think she still doesnt get it...

i give up..sooner or later im going to end my life

test

this weeks idea...why banff??

ive thought about moving back to ontario to solve this but then theres a
chance that she has as well..but it might be ok because where we live in
ontaio is in the middle of nowhere kinda place.

Im at a place where i dont know what i want to do...im stuck...pissed off
its like this and just...well..um...i need time to myself...so fuck of...

_________________________________________________________________

update...

ive been thinking about going back to ontario and staying there permanently, which would be a good thing..i guess.

Seeing as now im hating banff. I think back to the first bit of high school i loved st marys. It was a town i couldnt get enough of but then things went so down a few years i started more and more to hate it.

I love banff now i wonder if in like 3 or four months ill hate banff..

which makes me wonder am i gonna hate every single town ive been in and also her??

lets say i hate banff and decide to live somewhere in the carribean or live in the middle east...i wonder if shes gonna make me hate the town

the reason i hate st marys is because she was always there and then this whole change in my life took place and one of the things i did was hate it...i mean i could walk its streets but i really still hated it...

anyways theres your blog for the day

_________________________________________________________________ 

no updates in a while

sorry ill update you all later!!

no more ducking and running...

A lot of time when she comes near im almost running off to feel scared and
away from her. Well today i got over that. I wanted so much to move to
another till to help someone else but i had to stay... and i dont mean to
act like a stalker but unlike my other times of leaving just before she gets
there i stayed. I felt good. I mean me and her didnt talk but i was able to
not move...man that was good..

addicted to Lost...watched last episode of lost last night of season 2.
Leads you in confusion..michaeal goes home or somewhere with walt then the
crazy guy who knew jack in the running thing at night came back and the
button wasnt pushed. I liked when locke said "i was wrong" while forks
knives and plates were being thrown about. i wonder about the hyieroglyphics
after the button doesnt get hit...

4..8..15...16...23..42

gotta love the "bad numbers"

_________________________________________________________________
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another meme

"Write about a vivid dream youve had recently: Describe it, including your
personal interpretation and what it has to do with your current life
events."

I had a dream about 2 months ago. It started out as me walking down the
street mindin my own business when all of a sudden i bumped into "you know
who" but it wasnt just her, there was her husband and her 3 kids. I stopped
and took a look at her for a few moments, trying to figure out why shed do
this to me and in a short moment i ran away down the street and jumped and
commited suicide. Thats when i woke up.

So how this relates to my current life is more and more im seeing look
alikes to "you know" with kids walking with them and it totally reminds me
of my dream...i wanted to chage this but i find it is too late..

_________________________________________________________________
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meme..

"You've been living a life filled with lies and it's time for you to come
clean. There's one lie in particular that's been eating at you and you have
to make right. Start off your response with: "I have a confession to make. I
never really . . . " and explain the harm the lie caused and how you intend
to rectify it."

I have a confession to make. I have always been lying to myself. You know
when you lie to yourself. I used to come home from school and tell my mom
everything was ok, but i was really just covering it up. There was some deep
feelings i was trying to hide.

I have never wanted someone more than the girl of my dreams. Even though it
sounds stupid but i try to get over her but the more i do the more i get
sent back to being 0% over her.

_________________________________________________________________
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U2 by U2

So the u2 book is out, had i been a u2.com paid member this little wonder would have been sent to me in the mail or i would have had to but it...but now im living in a town thats not got a section of music books, i shall stroll over there later to see if they sell it...but i doubt it..

top 98 things about me (meme)

98. My middle name is: i have two, laverne stanley

97. I was born on: april 17th 1981

96. Your sign: aries

95. My cell phone company: Telus Mobility

94. My eye color: unsure
93. My shoe size is: 9

92. My ring size is: no fucking clue lol

91. My height is: 5′11″

90. I am allergic to: bees??

89. I was born in: london ontario

88. I live in: banff
87. The last book I read: Bono the Interview by Michka Assayas
86. My bed is: not fuckin big enough!

85. One thing I know for sure about the opposite sex: That I’ll never understand them.

84. I am glad I’m my sex because: men are the stronger sex of course.

83. My favorite Holiday is: summer!!

82. The perfect kiss is: One shared with my someone from my future.

81. The last three cd’s I bought are:I can’t remember.Alot of those 20th century master ones.

80. My most treasured possessions are: My photographs and my memories

79. What did you do last night?: watched another few episodes of 2nd season of Lost
78. My skin’s reaction to the sun is (tan/burn): I burn every single freaking time.

:::::I Do (YES)/Do Not (NO) Believe In:::::

77. Santa? Not anymore

76. Love at first sight? Yes I do

75. Luck? never had any
74. Fate? Definitely

73. Aliens? No

72. Heaven? Yes

71. Hell? Yes
70. Ghosts? Yes

69. Horoscopes? Yes, im addicted to them...

68. Soulmates? Definitely

:::::Which is Better?:::::

67. Hugs or Kisses: Both?

66. Boxers or Briefs: Boxers

65. Red heads or Black hair: Black

64. Blondes or Brunettes: Blondes

63. Hot or cold: Neitther...Warm

62. Summer or winter: Ok Heres my story...i hate summer because i hate bees, i hate winter because its always so cold...myabe i like spring and fall. I have ways of coping with this in tact banff hast two main seasons all four ar halved into 2 and i call them Wummer and Sinter. Do the Math!

61. Coffee or tea: Tea

60. Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate

59. Night or Day: Probably gotta be night

58. Oranges or Apples: Apples

57. Curly or Straight hair: Straight

:::::Here’s What I Think About:::::

56. Abortion: A choice only a woman can make. Whatever she feels is right for her.

55. Backstabbers: They can kiss my ass!

54. Parents: I love my parents, and I miss them

53. School: I’m glad I’m outta there

::::Last time I:::

52. Kissed someone: never

51. Last time I hugged someone: last week

50. Seen someone I haven’t seen in a while:number of weeks ago i was walking home and saw an old freind from my high school from my old hometown in ontario

::::MISC::::

49. Who is the ditziest person you know: Gotta be meself lol

48. Who makes you laugh the most: People on TBS

47. One thing I’m mad about right now is: Oh, I’m mad? I hadn’t noticed.

46. The last movie I saw in the theater was: Dukes of Hazzard but maybe there was one earlier than that...

45. The thing I don’t understand is: Life

44. The most unsatisfactory answer I’ve ever received is: Whatever

43. This summer I am: enjoying alot...

42. Something I will really miss when I leave home is: I left home years ago, I missed havin me laundry washed.

41. The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: is proving to those few ive moved on.

40. Today: Bored as shit. Enjoying life as long as i can, but i cant do it much longer
39. Next Week: Probably still bored as shit

38. Next Summer: Hopefully make a trip back home

37. People call me: Diesel, Dman and squints (long story)

36. The person who knows the most about me is: my sister and brother of course

35. The person that can read me the best is: my sister

34. The most difficult thing to do is: write songs again

33. I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope!

32. The one person who can’t hide things from me: ??

31. Right now I am talking to: a computer
30. I have/will get a job at: safeway in banff

29. I have these pets: none with me...1 dog back home in ontario

28. The worst sound in the world: the one that jim carey made in dumb and dumber

27. The person that made me cry the most was: i dont think i should talk about it anymore
26. My bf/gf/friend is: never had one
25. Florida or hawaii: Hawaii

24. My favorite piece of clothing is: my jean jacket which im wearing right now

23. My favorite sports are: Football and Hockey,
22. Last time I cried: uhhh ….. not too long ago.. oh wait! Yesterday afternoon!

21. Last person who hurt you: lets not talk about it

20. The all-time best movie is: Star Wars

19. The all-time best thing in the world is: Hate

18. The all-time best person you know is: my mom
17. The most annoying thing ever is: when in bf2, being shot in the middle of reloading when you are close to where the person is..
16. I lose all respect for people who: Show themselves to be untrustworthy, and not friends.

15. The movies I have cried at are: Quite a few.

14. TV show ur watching: Lost, how id love to be lost...
13. Favorite web site: My own?? lol

12. I want to be: myself more often
11. The worst pain I was ever in was: you dont know pain till you walk down the main street at midnite to figure out things...
10. My favorite phrase: "born to have it and have it he shall"

9. My room has: a guitar, a air bed, a few shelves and my clothes, im not yet in a place of my own...

8. My favorite celebrities are: Edge
7. The hottest celebrity is: unsure...pam anderson?

6. Your strongest feature is: Compassion and caring I guess

5. My weakness is: i often dont know what im doing im just doing what i feel is right..

4. If you could be anyone in the world, who would you be? id like to be a loser
3. Who broke your heart?: the girl of my dreams...shame on me..
2. I filled out 98 questions because: I had nothing better to do

1. What do you want?: Just the Time of day~

"my heart is longing for you love"

Ive been thinking alot about someone latley. At points in my life id used to
laught a bit or sorta chuckle at some thoughts. But now whenever i think
about what i used to think about and um, i just emotionally cant go on. I
moved to banff to change my life and make things better for myself. I had
spent 4 years in a sort of blur in my life i was just getting to find the
way out of my depression and a way out period...i got so close to actually
getting over "you know who".

It looks as if someone from above (ie god) is trying to force me down a path
i dont want to be on. Ive had the worst habit since grade 9 of what i call
"duck and run" there are times when i have used this habit over the past. If
i remeber it correctly i was at grad night in 2000 and the one moment i go
over and over the most is from that night. I had finished supper (we were
eating at a steakhouse in london ontario) and i just thought id be nice and
i decided to get up and walk around and talk to everyone.

I talked to pretty much everyone at that point and i even was offered a beer
to chug (everyone in the last few year of high school knew that i could chug
a whole beer. I didnt finish it because as i was making a fool of myself i
kinda noticed someone was looking at me.

Anyways i made myself around to where "she" was sitting. her boyfreind at
the time was sitting there. I knew him quite well. I stood there talking to
him for a while and then just like as if it were a dream she was walking
towards me. She was coming back from getting food. This is the moment i most
regret. I had to do my "duck and run routine" if i had more will power i
could have easily stayed there and told her how i felt and then i could
acheive something they call closure. Even if we were never together i could
live with spilling my gut. But i was scared. Unsure of wether to say
something...i ran...and 4 years later i continued to run...running away from
myself.

There has always been a feeling that comes to me when she is near. I started
feeling it once again earlier this year. I started to panic because i was
worried that now she hase moved from wherever she was in ontartio. I still
ask myself why banff?? why not bassano or lloydminster or whavever...

anyways its just a shit show here. Its like phsyically ducking and running
while im at work...sometimes when she comes in i rush off to the washroom or
somewhere to hide...i dont know why though...anyways i want to try going to
the guy i know in banff who does hypnotherapy. Mabe he can help me with
removing thoughts and dreams. Because its just not worth it.

ok thats all...later!!

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ideas on marrage and love

Its been coming into my inner voice for a while now but ive been meaning to
talk about marriage and romance and love issues.

Im noticing it more and more that marriages only last for under a year and
for others just a short time. I think its because theres no real feeling of
love between two people. Its merely just an "i love you" thing...not much
more for some people.

What love is really all about is like jack and rose in titanic where lets
say someone was married with somoene else then the husband or the wife gets
killed in some freak accident and the man is left alone. If the man shrugs
it off and doesnt think about what he just lost its not love at all.

As they say love can move mountains, and well it cant physically do that, it
feels like it. It should be like the movie the village where the two are
deeply in love. Most people i know are hardly in love at all.

There are many ways of love. Romanitc love, unrequeted love and love shyness
and there are other forms. I got caught up in unrequited love. Threw my
heart out to someone and that person never gave it back. You see i used to
go to mall fountains when im shopping in malls and i used to make a wish. I
always kept it secret but now i shall reveal all that what i used to say
when i made is wish was "i wish i was with..." i said that whole thing
every time...shall i search for a genie in a bottle to actually make that
with come true.

Something ive been thinking about lately. Ive been wondering if this is once
again unreqited or romantic love, but back in high school at the assembly's
that they had. I would search tirelessly throught all the faces in the crowd
for her. If i was in the bleachers sitting id look down and search for her
face after that id look at her for a moment.

it was just like how this short guy in this music video looks at the lady
that hes been thinking about.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KrNOicRecw

more to come in time

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update

i have not posted here on my blog in ages.!!

does the thought of the word help! make sense to anyone?

ok heres the story, i am stuck right now...not emotionally but more of um uh oh...

i had totally forgotten about the bee i swallowed last year, turns out it wants out...scaring me to death by the way, cant eat sleep cant do anything....

ahh im practicaly dread...

arrg...now im stuck...

no matter where i go, i cant go..what that means is...um...well..

lets say if i wanted to go down to the river to reflect on my life i cant...because someone from my past who is in town only to rub in the fact that shes married and has kids.

so im a frantic person today..im hiding in the underground so i can hide from her...

im scared....afraid....later

CD's I have recently bought and CD's i am looking for

I recently Bought

20th Century Masters-The Gin Blossoms
Collective Soul-7even Year Itch
Tragically Hip-Up to Here
U2-Under a Red Blood Sky

What im looking for

80's 90's U2 Singles
or any other well known 90's bands "best of" album

a nice update...

i havent spent much time lately postig about how i feel. Ive spent more time
worrying about someone from my past who im still trying to get an update
from my old freinds to know if she was ever out here or if this was just a
sortin out kinda thing to myself...

That IYWTVD song about 2-3 posts below is quite the song eh? It takes me
back to high school, i always listened to that song when i was at home. Who
knows someday ill be saying "but if you wear that velvet dress, i guess
ill..."

well theres not much going on tonite!!

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interesting comic

hello from canmore-ish..

here i am in the beautiful town of canmore doing my own touring around. First place i was gonna look for was that mountain rocks store, and hey i found it, so im next door at the internet cafe chatting about what im up to...im just explring canmore...

im going back to mountian tocks because i saw 2 cd's that i havent seen on the shelves of other music stores they are the u2 -under a red blood sky dvd and cd!!

see ya soon!!

ive got personal problems..

looks like im gonna be spending tonite walking the streets...im not broke or
homeless ive just personal problems.

Most nights before a day off im usually roamin down banff ave trying to
figure out what is going on in my life trying to answer the problems ive
been faced with...

so ill be walkin down banff ave sometime tonite

i think my blog ideas and thoughts on here will change....

what goes on in my blog here is more of like whats going on in my head alot
of the times but is more like an extension of what im thinking about as i
sit here.

Id like to have more of a, "while im walking home late at night as im
talking to myself" kind of blog. I get more stuff out that way but it doesnt
stay there very long, i guess i could mobile blog it but txt messinging on
my phone is hard enough to blog what im thinking as im thinking it would be
more of what i want like lets say one of those earphone phones are used to
text what im saying into words and blog it but then i run ito problems when
people can see me and i look like im talking to no-one!!

ah well nevermind...well that breaks the ice for this blogging...

whats new for me? whats new for me...? hmm...well theres alot of things
going on in my life, not to say work but in personal life some things are
getting in the way. Its kinda like saying you are doing nothing but you are
doing something...understand? well anyways there are alot of things going
on that im either worried about or feel threatend by but yet when you look
you see nothing...

umm...ok so theres a person whos back and closer to where i am each day than
id like to be but im ok with that. The only thing that really bugs me is
when i listen to cd's on my porch which faces tunnel and i can only see a
few short feet of rundle (what a veiw).. anyways everytime i come out on
the porch to play guitar, listen to music i get a small audience from a
house north from me...grizzly street? cougar? i cant remeber which one...but
anyways theres out there listening. what reason for i have no freicken
idea...

second thing is at 8:30 am or so i get wakened up by the sound of hammers.
They are building a house and so every morning theyre out there hammering,
if you listesn without looking at them it sounds like they are just hitting
the wood at various speeds and as if for fun.

so anyways the ideas you hear in this blog may not be ones im thinking about
as of this moment they might have been though of some night at like 2am as
im making my way home..

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people used to say to me,

i woukdnt bother with "you know who" and i never really thought of it that
way. I always persisted in being courteous and sublime in ways. But now ive
learned something else. I was worng to even want her. Back about 5 years ago
i would have never realized this but as you all know time heals the heart
and its about time that ive been healed good enough to say i love ym life.

Im not in heart breake mood anymore, its like overnight i feel happier....

im still mad i made the decision to even want her. but i guess i can easily
get over that..heck that wont take very long...which brings me to another
point, what was it that made me want her in the first place? what was i
thinking?? i should have gone out with the 3-4 other people that trued to
ask me out...thats where i belong...

anyways...stuff to think about

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who were you in high school

take the quiz...
http://www.blogthings.com/whowereyouinhighschoolquiz/

now im really confused.

if anyone is listen to me right now, im so confused right now. I feel like im well in some sort of mind trap with someone and i feel like im in a bad dream.

i wish i could wake up right now. like this is the time that usually in my dreams id want to wake up. But im not waking up....whats real and whats fake...arrg....im so confused...

ooh nice horroscope!!

Someone is looking for an intriguing influence or inspiration, and given
your stature within the group, you could fit the bill perfectly. A surge of
confident energy hits you either today or tomorrow, and it helps you realize
how much influence you truly have. Important people are paying attention to
you right now, and you might not be noticing how many questions they're
suddenly asking. There are plans in the works -- and your name keeps popping
up

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i have been restricted to home and work

this is it....the last straw!! i will never ever go to brunos ever again...its that way because i am not knowing anyone in there anyways...

i never thought it would come to this...

but im setting up my "no fly zone"or to speak. The places i cannot go in
town.

in no set up order

1)Bow falls
2)sit by the river
3) ??? right now i have no idea

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I was wrong to think...

that i could try to "win her" over. I mean she has other guys that i think
are so desperate to be with her that im sure a person like me wouldnt really
matter to her.

But let me ask you, why would, all of a sudden this thought of her come into
my mind. I mean beforehand i had not even thought once about her...just like
4-5 months ago when my life was ok and i was going to be ok. But i hit the
brick wall and now all i can think about is her. I try hard to forget, and
move on but nope, still got my head and heart on her.

I have officially become somewhat of a recluse, i cant go where i want to go
downtown, but im gonna have to not worry about work. But every night theres
no going out on my porch no doin nothin but home and work!!!

this is a good version...

ill let you guess

rrrooooar...

crag and canyon horroscope wrong..

this horroscop comes out every tuesday when the paper does. I cant remember the whole of what it said but it said tonite or sometime this week im going to face a challenge....well tonites almost over i havent faced a challenge

.the one from yahoo says

"Consistency is an important part of your life right now, and it has enabled you to decrease your stress level quite a bit. Today the placid surface of your life gets stirred up a bit, but this is something you've been waiting for -- and looking forward to. It's not an upheaval; it's an invigoration. This change is a darn good one, full of lots of positive opportunities and some possible financial benefits as well. Never before has an earthquake yielded such a beautiful landscape"

not sure that happened today...


anyways so much for astrology

i think im gonna become a recluse..

Ill find a house that has no windows and truly become a recluse, i dont ever
want to be seen or i dont want to see others.

This i say right now because my life doesnt need to be seen, my life is at
rock bottom. Dont even try to change that..

im trying to get things sorted out...

later

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the deepest dream ive ever had.

last night was extremely the worst the most deep dream ive ever had in my
life. I had somehow found myself right next to "you know" i was trying to
tell her something but she didnt want to hear it so i got really mad, like
really mad and in some way had left showing her my hatrid of the
situation...how she couldnt listen to me...

it just kept going on and on and on and on!!!

later

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i give up

all these years ive been stuck with questions as to how i could have avoided
being where i am at right now. Its like that reo speedwagon song i cant
fight this feeling anymore.

I can feel "her" presense in banff and i dont like it, if my life wasnt so
bad enough now its worse, my life sucks.

Im ready to give up on a goal or objective i had back in high school just to
well meet het or talk to her but now i give up, she can go ahead and get
married, have her kids and enjoy her life as my life dwindles towards
extinction.

i know in words on this blog it doesnt mean much or make much sense but this
is how ive felt for like 4-5 months now. i just wish i could fall off the
face of this earth....

later

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i just want to live my life

I want to be able to enjoy the summer, not have to sit behind the door,
listen to my stereo from inside....everytime i sit on my porch with music
theres this whole family on the hill that comes out to watch....i dont want
to live that way..

later

"if i cant change the world, i can change the world in me"-u2

just when i thought i was gonna think about...

what i should do as regards to an album from me, i uh give up my
songwriting. My singing sucks, so from here on in have no singer songwriting
career..

thanks for all the people who got me here!!

"if i cant change the world, i can change the world in me"-u2

so im supposed to focus on the positive...???

Had an appointment at mental clinic to talk about all of my shit. Got really
into it and she mentioned that all i am doing is focusing on the negative.

In her words she said lets say you are in a canoe and you see a rock, dont
stare at the rock or you will go in that direction and hit the rock, look at
the way you want to go and you will go in that direction.

So what she means is im focusing on travelling in the negative way. Im
heading towards the rock because all i am is negative. When i think of being
rejected i think of being a nobody, its such a deep deep feeling that its
hard to steer the boat in the other direction.

I think its gonna be hard becauce im really am searching for a new direction
in that sense but its like theres a vaccum that says stay with the
negative..

it was a good hour talk. I see her in a bout a week or 2. Im not sure if i
can tell her what i really am feeling i keep lying to myself!!!

"if i cant change the world, i can change the world in me"-u2

"search for himself in his lovers eyes"....

Anyone familiar with the phrase searching for youreself in someone else??. Think about the last time you saw youreself in youre next car, or how you saw youreself in someone else. It was best said in a u2 song called "slow dancing" bono sings "and i dot know why a man, search for himself in his lovers eyes". I think it sums up alot of how im feeling right now.

ive been searching for myself in someone else, but that someone else i screwd up on. As much as many people believe, that was the only person i could find myself in. Too bad i didnt have another chance to change things.

I dont think alot of people know what real love is, when youve never had it, you appreciate that is there if you ever get it. But when most are in love they dont really know the powers it beholds.

Heres something ive never let loose. I find sometimes the dreams i have involve, well uh....emails. Like from her, being sent to me, they feel so real that i wake up and check my email to find there's nothing there...what a fricken waste of time.

I've hit rock bottom in my life, no one is my friend not that i really need them right now im at a total loss, good thing I'm not drinking or this post would be worse.

have a good night...

"if i cant change the world, i can change the world in me"-u2

One of the most influential songs helping me blog is..

Usually when i write a long blog, it usually some from listening to either
james blunt's youre beautiful like 3,000 times or i ve listened to a u2 song
over and over.

But right now im listeing to sometimes you can make it on your own by u2. Up
next is all i want is you.

So this is just great for now. The only thing now is i have no idea what to
write about Well you could say that ive been having a hard time enjoying the
last few days. When i look at the mountans from my porch all i see the left
side of tunnel and a tiny bit of rundle. Then the 1st thing that strikes me
as weird is this huge house on that is the 1st thing i see then i look at
the mountains from my porch. I mean youd have to be blind not to see it.

To make matters worse at work all i see is beatiful women that anyday id
take but being the dorky nerd i am i really ignore them because, well i dont
know why. Its starting to cramp my style, im becoming more confused and not
surew where to turn to.

Anyways i enjoyed being home in ontario for the 1-2 weeks i was there. Got
to see at least 1 of my gazillion friends while i was there. Bumped into a
guy who was just like me in high school, really dark dark glasses he wore
almost 3/4 of the way thru school, to this day im not sure how he could see
through them. They were that dark!!

But now hes working for the local paper as some sore of rep in the
advertising feild. Sounds like hes having fun!!

Other than that i didnt get to see anyone else i know...everyone is either
in some other town or is in college and living in that same city..

well this was great. dam that all i want is you can help so much in writing
and writing..

Have a good day and enjoy whatever game you watch these days dawn!!

"if i cant change the world, i can change the world in me"-u2

back home

hello/..im back in alberta

its been a while...

uploading a few new songs

soundclick.com/darrenelliott

"if i cant change the world, i can change the world in me"-u2