6/19/2006

so im supposed to focus on the positive...???

Had an appointment at mental clinic to talk about all of my shit. Got really
into it and she mentioned that all i am doing is focusing on the negative.

In her words she said lets say you are in a canoe and you see a rock, dont
stare at the rock or you will go in that direction and hit the rock, look at
the way you want to go and you will go in that direction.

So what she means is im focusing on travelling in the negative way. Im
heading towards the rock because all i am is negative. When i think of being
rejected i think of being a nobody, its such a deep deep feeling that its
hard to steer the boat in the other direction.

I think its gonna be hard becauce im really am searching for a new direction
in that sense but its like theres a vaccum that says stay with the
negative..

it was a good hour talk. I see her in a bout a week or 2. Im not sure if i
can tell her what i really am feeling i keep lying to myself!!!

"if i cant change the world, i can change the world in me"-u2

1 comment:

Tara said...

Hang in there Darren. Talking to a mental therapist can be hard, but it's also freeing.

Some things can also be the hardest to talk about, but, once you have, and they're out in the open, you'll be amazed at how much better you feel.

I wish you luck.