she still doesnt understand me..

im not trying to force her to life me, im not even forcing her to look at me but i think she still doesnt get it...

i give up..sooner or later im going to end my life

test

this weeks idea...why banff??

ive thought about moving back to ontario to solve this but then theres a
chance that she has as well..but it might be ok because where we live in
ontaio is in the middle of nowhere kinda place.

Im at a place where i dont know what i want to do...im stuck...pissed off
its like this and just...well..um...i need time to myself...so fuck of...

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update...

ive been thinking about going back to ontario and staying there permanently, which would be a good thing..i guess.

Seeing as now im hating banff. I think back to the first bit of high school i loved st marys. It was a town i couldnt get enough of but then things went so down a few years i started more and more to hate it.

I love banff now i wonder if in like 3 or four months ill hate banff..

which makes me wonder am i gonna hate every single town ive been in and also her??

lets say i hate banff and decide to live somewhere in the carribean or live in the middle east...i wonder if shes gonna make me hate the town

the reason i hate st marys is because she was always there and then this whole change in my life took place and one of the things i did was hate it...i mean i could walk its streets but i really still hated it...

anyways theres your blog for the day

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no updates in a while

sorry ill update you all later!!

no more ducking and running...

A lot of time when she comes near im almost running off to feel scared and
away from her. Well today i got over that. I wanted so much to move to
another till to help someone else but i had to stay... and i dont mean to
act like a stalker but unlike my other times of leaving just before she gets
there i stayed. I felt good. I mean me and her didnt talk but i was able to
not move...man that was good..

addicted to Lost...watched last episode of lost last night of season 2.
Leads you in confusion..michaeal goes home or somewhere with walt then the
crazy guy who knew jack in the running thing at night came back and the
button wasnt pushed. I liked when locke said "i was wrong" while forks
knives and plates were being thrown about. i wonder about the hyieroglyphics
after the button doesnt get hit...

4..8..15...16...23..42

gotta love the "bad numbers"

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